“Periods an unanswered question” by Akshay Patel

By May 28, 2020

Periods, the word itself is a stigma for men and being raised in a society where men restrict themselves to openly discuss even its meaning has carved out a space. It has been a challenge for me even to this day to completely understand it, but still I’ll try my best. From childhood onward I was kept in dark saying that it is something that a girl suffers from or a girlish problem that we (men) should never be concerned about. During 9th grade, for the first time, I saw a red mark on my friends skirt whilst everyone was enjoying discussing it, I wandered with a question of why it happened to her, was she hurt or is there something she is struggling with? I didn’t have the gut to ask her being an introvert or maybe out of sheer thought of hurting the self-esteem that was traumatised due to questions showered on her. Yet, I made sure that our teacher looked after her and escorted her to the office. 

Everyone moved on, but my curiosity didn’t end as I kept on learning about it through years still it was just mystical. As per the stated definition “It is a process where egg developed by ovaries doesn’t get fertilised and uterus lining lets it release in the form of blood through the vagina in a woman is called menstruation,” this process is repeated over certain time cycle (14 days) that could differ. On contrary, there was a struggle beneath me that why can’t my mother (every woman in my life including my aunt and sister) explain it to me, why she doesn’t allow me to touch her, why can’t she walk with me to a religious place, why can’t she cook and why does she keep it as a secret? Is it such a crime that limits her from being called a human being? 

Sometimes, I used to notice the change in her behaviour the anguish and pain on her face a few days before her periods. It made me realise that she might be suffering from PMS (Pre -Menstrual Syndrome), the change in her attitude yet I was not sure does every woman suffers from it? I tried my best to grab a pack of Jalebi {deep-frying a wheat flour (maida flour) batter in pretzel or circular shapes} for her as she likes it the best and avoided arguing her, it was just her love for me. It was during a class (personal tutoring) that my sister told me about how she suffered back pain, how she could not sleep the entire night and her cravings to hit me and shout at me that made me realise that being a man the least I can do is share her pain (not physically but mentally). To date, even though we are in different time zone I make sure that she never feels alone and I’m here to listen to all her complaints. I’m the one who brings that monstrous smile on her cute face with all my humorous talk (of being so awesome although I’m not).

It’s not that discussing periods would make us a true feminist but eradicate disbelieves that creates a sense of equality among men and women would create a better tomorrow. Every woman deserves to be heard irrespective of their caste, I have always made sure to respect each woman in my life with a sense of courtesy. I have learned a lot in my life through personal experiences, even though I am not an expert, and yes I’m afraid of blood but still I can be a human.Women deserve spiritual respect as she is the one to embrace a life in this world, even our mythology worship Goddess yoni’s (vagina) by the name of “Yogini”. Let’s break this vicious cycle and openly discuss it rather than following mythical believes, periods are what makes women purest of all(men). This post was never meant to hurt any creed or race but out of pure desire to express my thoughts and sorry if I wrote something wrong.  

Akshay Patel <akshaypatel9421@gmail.com>


  1. Lakshmi

    On May 29, 2020

    Content worth reading, though its not new but still the writing made me continue to read. Keep up the good work Akshay.

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